I got to thinking the other day... I dont speak to a single person I went to college with.
I can see why. I had a horrible opinion of myself back then and a slight substance abuse problem (including people). I took everything in my life for granted and did nothing to make my life better.
which simply tells me that I've come a long way.
chances are if any of them saw me now, they wouldn't recognise me. not just in an appearence sort of way, but in my very mannerisms and lifestyle. how could have I changed so much in 3 years?
its incredable how I look back and cringe. how I hate who I was back then and how I treated everyone. I don't blame myself for hating myself. I thought I was so essential to this world, now I know you need to make yourself essential. I have people now who count on me, and trust me to do the right thing. I have friends I can listen to and trust that they know best. I don't dwell on the mistakes I make, but I dont disregard them either.

I wonder if that would ever make up for my immaturities and infidelities of the past. it may not to them, but I hope it will for my reputation.

I came to toronto with nothing but my brushes, my man, and a good work ethic, and I prooved I was essential to at least two of those things. I hope some day I can be as selfless as Adam's been to me.